Self-presentation: Security & authenticity on the internet

As a result, social media is teeming with successful and inspiring people. Younger users in particular are easily influenced by these ideals. Sometimes they are even deceived or pressured. In order to appear similarly attractive and flawless, people often resort to ‘enhancing’ their image to achieve the perfect picture.

There are various options for this:

• Integrated functions: Photos or videos can be enhanced with a variety of filters when uploaded to selected platforms. For example, skin blemishes are retouched, lips are made fuller, eyes are made larger and double chins disappear.
• Image editing software: Sometimes programmes such as Adobe Photoshop or GIMP are even used to lengthen legs, eliminate wrinkles or conceal excess weight.
• Green screens: Selfies with your own four walls in the background can look boring. Tools with ‘green screens’ help you quickly and easily transport yourself to an exciting background such as a high mountain peak or a snow-white sandy beach.
• Valuable objects: Expensive cars, chic clothing and private pools – for many, money means success. So many influencers pose with their valuable acquisitions. From the viewer's perspective, it is often unclear what really belongs to them and what is merely a rented prop or even advertising.
• Attractive through fitness: Being athletic is considered attractive today. So it's hardly surprising that much of the content on social networks is sports-related and that users like to inspire others with their toned bodies and athletic achievements. There's nothing wrong with this in general, unless it increases the pressure on less athletic users.

Positive feedback on their own posts in the form of comments or likes makes them feel happy, and young people agree on this. It is a wonderful feeling to create your own world and publish successful images, designs or music. Receiving appreciation for this makes them proud.

Young people can experiment on social networks and discover new sides to themselves: for example, a life as a photographer or reporter. Social media allows them to motivate others to do good, find inspiration for themselves or meet people with similar interests.

However, the respondents also recognise the downsides: ‘We only see people with their filters, with their edited faces and bodies. We don't know what they look like in reality, and that's relevant,’ is one statement from the survey. Someone else adds: ‘Without conscientious self-reflection, sooner or later you will develop personality complexes in some form.’

Constantly showing the best of yourself and having to keep improving is exhausting. The more you transform yourself into your online persona, the further you distance yourself from who you really are. Young people are aware that not everything posted on social media is real. However, it is also ‘difficult to constantly remember [...] that you shouldn't believe everything.’

Added to this are bad role models (smoking, alcohol, etc.) or influencers who make young people feel uncomfortable with their own bodies because they feel inferior. Young people also see hate speech, stalking and exposure as dangers associated with self-expression.

Those who present themselves as bold, attractive and entertaining on social media can generally expect to receive more likes and followers. It is tempting to use these figures to gauge one's own popularity or even to measure one's self-worth.

However, this also harbours dangers, because people often forget about the algorithms underlying the networks, which contribute to the visibility of posts. The online community can also be ruthless and capricious: one day the likes go through the roof and the next day there are none left.

Tips for dealing confidently with clicks and likes:

• Likes come and go: Remind yourself and your child not to base their self-worth on fleeting approval on social media, but rather on loving feedback from those close to them.
• Stay authentic: Being true to yourself and not selling yourself for likes is healthier, easier and more credible in the long run.
• Better is not always better: There is probably always someone somewhere in the world who can do something better than you or your child. Comparing yourself to others can therefore be toxic. Instead, remind yourself and your child of your own strengths and praise them.
• Be proud of your body: ideals of beauty change over time. But we all have only one body, which we should be proud of regardless of fashion trends. This opinion is also shared by the ‘body positivity’ movement, which is being embraced by more and more influential figures who are consciously standing by their own physical ‘flaws’.
  

It is important that children and young people learn to recognise which role models are authentic and which are unrealistic or unhealthy. Self-expression on social media is not necessarily good or bad, but true self-expression should be authentic and reflective.

Misinformation and fake profiles can influence the self-image and perception of viewers. It is important to recognise such deceptions. It also helps to understand influencer culture so as not to be misled by idealised lifestyles.

Does your child imitate the behaviour of role models in an unhealthy way? Here are six approaches for talking to your daughter or son, inspired by the answers and wishes from our survey on the question: ‘What would you like to tell your parents about this topic?’

• Do your research together: Work together to find clues and information that bring a famous person back down to earth and make them more human. Because even the brightest celebrity stars always have their critical aspects.
• Strengthen your child's self-awareness: ‘Give your children the confidence that they are beautiful just as they are and that they are enough.’ During puberty in particular, self-image is strongly influenced by experiments such as dyeing hair, trying out different clothing styles or physical development. Strengthen your child's self-esteem and put exaggerated ideals into perspective.
• Be approachable: Surveillance and prohibitions rarely feel good. Instead, be attentive and interested, ask questions, and talk about the opportunities and dangers of self-expression. Talk about your own consumption and self-expression on the internet.
• Ask for permission: Do you post pictures on social media yourself? If your child is also visible in these pictures, ask them before posting whether they are okay with being seen in them. This shows that you are a good role model and respect your child's opinion.
• Take the plunge: The survey shows that around 80 per cent of participants would rather not talk to their parents about how they present themselves online. This is because young people underestimate their parents or even consider them too old. This makes it all the more important for you to take the first step, seek out conversation and never consider yourself too old to discuss such topics with your children.